Fahrenheit
by ThisAccountIsNowInactive354085
Summary: Narcissa Black and Lily Evans are enemies by association.Narcissa's reputation is tied to Lucius and Lily's undying loyalty to herfriends have always kept them apart.But one wrong move in Lily's third year may lead to the only RIGHT move she's ever made.
1. Lily's Prologue

DISCLAIMER: NOTHING'S MINE BUT THE PLOT

Narcissa Black.

Beautiful yet venomous, like a butterfly- the Slytherin Queen. James says they're all just a lot of pureblood bigots, and maybe he's right. Even the way she carries herself seems to _scream _'better than you and you know it'.

She'll become Narcissa Malfoy.

Obviously Lucius would have only the best- James says he's so full of hot air he'd pop if I 'accidentally' crushed his foot with my high-heel. Then again, sometimes it seems like James is, too.

Now she's always there- whenever James and Lucius decide to have it out, she's always there beside him, her pale hand looped loosely in his thin arm with the minimal amount of physical contact, her icy eyes bored and uncaring. Everyone who bothers to take a second glance can tell who's _really _wearing the pants- her neediness is just a poor façade, as if she doesn't even care who sees through it.

No matter what James says, Narcissa Black is positively _fascinating_. For all the fights and poison-speared words- for every time she lashes out at me and I lash right back for the sake of our respective men- I've never seen Narcissa Black cry. The most emotion that I've ever seen from her, actually, is disgust as James and Sirius taunted Severus, and perhaps that was the one time we were on the same side. The one time she wasn't forced to be against me simply because of her blood and mine.

She is in the grade ahead of me, as are Lucius and James and Sirius and the whole lot of them. But she's different- there's more understanding and age in her eyes alone than in the entirety of the boys put together.

It's Lucius's reputation that drives her. If Lucius Malfoy isn't great- if Lucius Malfoy's reputation is tarnished, it'll be Narcissa who takes the fall.

Which might have been what drove me to approach her at my first Yule Ball in my third year- Lucius and James were in some corner trying to off each other as usual, because no occasion is too elegant for a good duel for those two- and kiss her.

For my sake, it _had _seemed like a perfectly lovely idea at the moment- the possibility of Narcissa Black having a big, fat splotch on her reputation would have made James proud.

It was only a little kiss on the cheek, and I jumped back after my lips touched her smooth, porcelain skin- I think I must have been more surprised than Narcissa. I have always been outgoing and maybe a little too curious for my own good- I must have picked that up from James and Sirius- but I never thought I'd do something so utterly _stupid_ as to _kiss_ Narcissa Black, the _Slytherin _heir to the Malfoy fortune.

At first she stood stock still, her muscles tensing completely, like a perfect marble statue. Then she shied away, a mixture of disgust and disbelief spanning her sharp, pale features. I expected her to hit me- I expected a _fight_, but she only looked at me with that expression that seemed to be frozen in place until Dumbledore glided majestically onto the dance floor, spinning McGonagall before him, commanding the room's attention. I took that opportunity to run before she had the chance to hex my bloody brains out.

I sincerely hope I was slipped a particularly potent potion to have made me make that bloody _stupid _move. Otherwise I may have to off myself for kissing Narcissa Black while in my own right mind. It was completely revolting and forced and….

I _must_ be going mad.


	2. Narcissa's Prologue

DISCLAIMER: NOTHING'S MINE BUT THE PLOT

Lily Evans.

Temperamental and rash- the Gryffindor Protégée. Potter seems to be her boyfriend- an utter prat, as well. Lucius, on the other hand, is a _rich _prat, and that makes all the difference.

Lily Evans hides behind a mask of glass, and it works, because Potter and my perfect imbecile of a cousin seem to have enough problems spelling their own names, let alone even _attempt _to understand the inner workings of a human female. Poor girl- I can _almost _understand the facet that she seems to have fallen for her own tomboyish façade. But I've seen Lily Evans cry.

The words come so easily- mudblood, slut, etc…- they're such simple insults. It's the sharp, precise stabs that drive in the petty words. Many times, my effort seems to be in vain as she simply shrugs off my insults or shoots them back at me, like a sip of my own poison.

Lily Evans has an unseemly temper.

The day that those bloody pricks sunk so low as to torment Severus, who had never laid a finger on Potter's precious forearm, she was ready to spew fire. Potter didn't even have the balls to take her fury like a man, insisting that the torture and bullying was perfectly acceptable. He must've had a limp for a month after that, the bloody prick. Lucius was riding his arse for months on that one, going on about how he'd had his arse handed to him by a _female_. I, of course, clung to his arm like a good little tart because we're engaged, and that's what engaged couples _do_. The Malfoys have the money and I have his heart- my reputation as well as my family's rests on his shoulders, and that is the only logic that matters.

And perhaps _that _is why Lily Evans approached me at the Yule ball and kissed me.

I was frozen for a heart-stopping moment as my eyes flitted quickly across the enormous Great Hall, scanning over the groups of giggling girls and their dates- they were all too preoccupied in their own silly games to notice what was going on around them. Lucius and James were having it out in a corner, oblivious to anything but their own hatred.

To her benefit, Lily Evans was paler than the Baron when I turned to face her, her emerald eyes wide with fear, and yet she didn't move. Just then, that queer fool of a headmaster commanded all attention to himself as he swept that positive _bitch _of a Transfiguration teacher onto the dance floor in front of him. When I turned back, prepared to berate her before the entire student body as well as the staff, she had disappeared.

I caught a glimpse of that ruby hair as Lily Evans scurried across the floor, and groped for my wand, grinding my teeth together as I realized that I had left it down in the dungeons because there had been nowhere to stash it in my dress.

I scowled, folding my arms as I stalked towards Lucius and James- he _would _dance with me, at least once. The _nerve _of that girl- the whole situation made me feel the need to empty my stomach into the enchanted rosebushes. It was vile, repulsive, and altogether _awful_ and when I saw Lily Evans's terrified face- the single tear making its wet trail down her cheek- I had wanted to pull her into my arms and _make _her stay.

I _must_ be going mad.


	3. Chapter One: Clash

DISCLAIMER: NOTHING'S MINE BUT THE PLOT

Three Years Later…

Lily Evans turned in her chair, pushing her hands back against the table and twisting around until her back popped before letting go and slumping down in the large, overdone maroon armchair. Across from her, Remus Lupin raised his eyebrows. "Not bored, are you?" he asked in that soft, gentle voice that could calm any female. "And here I thought Divination was paramount to one's success in the wizarding community.

Shooting a playfully annoyed look, Lily puffed out her cheeks. "Oh, wait!" she said excitedly, her bright eyes widening almost comically. She reached out, moving her hands knowledgeably over the crystal ball in the center of the lavender velvet-covered table. "In your future, there is…." She trailed off, allowing her hands to drop to the table slowly. Remus leaned forward, his eyes imploring her to continue. Lily raised her gaze to his, her chin tilted downwards as she murmured, "The Grim."

"Oh, Merlin's _beard_!" Remus groaned, throwing his hands in the air as Lily grinned, bowing to the invisible spectators.

"_Beard _is right," she agreed conspiratorially, and Remus sunk his head into his hands, officially deflated. "You can't string her along like that forever, you know."

As if on cue, a slender girl with hot pink, shoulder-length hair bounded over to their table, grinning from ear to ear. "Wotcher, Evans!" she exclaimed, saluting Lily dramatically before turning to the tawny-haired boy across from her. "Hogsmeade next weekend," she said suggestively, raising her eyebrows. "What do you say?"

When Remus raised his head and grinned up at his girlfriend winningly, Lily was almost convinced that he really was in love with her, even though she knew the truth. "Anything for you, Tonks," he said, bracing himself against the table to stand up and kiss her on the mouth. The neon girl blushed deeply, waved to Lily once more, and bounded back to her seat across from Peter. Lily gazed after her, sympathy etched across her face.

"You're horrible, Remus," she said softly, picking up the crystal ball and rolling it across the table, where she caught it in her left hand before rolling it back to her right. "She's so in love with you, and you couldn't ask for a sweeter girl. It's going to kill her when she learns the truth." Checking over her shoulder to make sure Professor Sinestra wasn't looking before leaning across the table. "I know you, Remus- you can't hide it for much longer. Even now I can't believe I'm the only one who's caught on."

Sighing heavily, Remus ducked his head down, ashamed and chastised by Lily's brutal honesty. Truthfully, the Grim _was _in his future- in the past and present as well. If he was honest, the Grim was all he saw. "Sirius would never return my feelings," he muttered.

"It doesn't _matter_," Lily growled. "I mean, sure, it'd be great if he did, and for all we know, he _might_, but Tonks is too sweet to be taken advantage of like this. You'll break her heart either way- I can tell you from experience that it's better if she finds out directly as opposed to finding out through paying a little more attention."

Remus nodded, resigned. "I know, I know," he replied. "And I'll do it soon- as soon as I find a good way to do it. And what about you and James?"

Lily concentrated on the mobile crystal ball, her eyes following it back and forth across the table. "What _about _us?"

"You and I _both _know everything's not fine," Remus said quietly. "Eventually he's going to get tired of you avoiding him. And that's only what's been noticeable to him- you've been drifting apart ever since third year. It's as if you think that maybe, if you go slowly enough, you'll separate completely and no one will be any the wiser."

She shrugged. "I haven't been doing it on purpose, and maybe no one _will _notice. With all these murders going on, and this Voldemort person who's behind it all, there's not much time left to spend on crumbling relationships."

"You shouldn't talk about him so lightly," Remus chided mildly. "He might turn out to be a bigger threat than we could ever imagine."

"People always say that," Lily said dismissively. "And it's never true, is it? They always get stopped in the end."

"Lily Evans!"

Lily smiled weakly she trudged into the Potions classroom, ducking slightly under Professor Slughorn's appreciative gaze. "Hello, Professor."

Slughorn squeezed his way past the rows of heavy, stone-topped tables, extending a doughy hand, which Lily shook tentatively. "I was afraid of losing my star pupil over the summer," he boomed cheerfully. "Thought you might opt out of potions for something a little more to your liking."

"Nope," Lily said, smiling nervously as more students began to trickle in. "Still here."

Slughorn let loose a booming laugh, causing a particularly jumpy looking boy to drop his books on the stone floor with a loud thump. "That's the spirit- you and James really do make a fine couple!"

Lily didn't respond- time seemed to still as a pale, slender blonde girl swept into the room, her green lined robes billowing behind her. With a casual tilt of the head, her icy gray gaze met Lily's, sending what seemed like a bolt of pure lightening down the redhead's spine. Narcissa Black.

And then it was over, and Slughorn was squeezing his way back to the front of the class, and Lily took a seat near the back of the room as usual- Slughorn would move her to the very front by the next day, anyway.

She slumped down in her chair, her eyes fixed in Narcissa's general direction, attempting to stare without staring. Nothing had changed on that night three years ago- the very next day James and Lucius had engaged in a full-blown duel, and Narcissa had aimed her usual knives at Lily, who had cleverly deflected her insult. The blonde upperclassman had always reminded Lily of a winter rose- strikingly beautiful to the eyes, but sharp to the touch. She had seemed all but fazed from the previous events.

"Miss Evans?"

Lily jerked from her memories, blinking rapidly a few times before staring up at Slughorn, who was staring back at her with a worried expression across his doughy face- so was half the class. The Slytherin half was mostly raised eyebrows and a few sniggers. "Yes!" Lily replied quickly. "Er…sorry, Professor. Didn't get much sleep, you know? I was looking forward to today so much, and I'm afraid I'm rather like a child- I can't sleep well at all when I'm excited. You should see me on Christmas morning."

The Gryffindor half of the room roared with appreciative laughter- even Slughorn himself had broken into a wide grin. The Slytherins had gone silent, most either scowling or interesting themselves with other things. Only Narcissa remained expressionless, her cold eyes fixed on Lily, as if she were the only person in the room. Instinctively, Lily shied away.

"I was just enlightening the class on how to counteract most poisons known to the wizarding world with one simple, interchangeable substance," Slughorn informed her, his eyes twinkling. "Would you like to share the answer with the class."

"Oh, right," Lily muttered, running a hand through her hair as she tried to wake herself up. "Er…a bezoar should do it, right?"

Slughorn's face lit up, and Lily breathed an inaudible sigh of relief- the last thing she needed was a concerned Slughorn holding her back after class. "That is, indeed, 'right', Miss Evans," he assured her before continuing his pacing. "A bezoar is a common remedy for deadly poisons, and quite rare, yet it does not protect against_ all _poisons. Today you and your partners shall be brewing an antidote for the _atropa belladonna_, or 'beautiful woman', so named for its early uses as…"

Lily tuned out- she knew all this already from Herbology. It had surprised her when Professor Sprout had taught the class about a 'muggle' plant, but the belladonna seemed to be worthy- or deadly- enough to be discussed at Hogwarts.

"No, no, Lucius, don't move quite yet," Slughorn chided good-naturedly as that slimeball Malfoy got to his feet, already turned towards Narcissa. "_I _shall be assigning partners- there seems to be a certain lack of interhouse comradeship, so I-"

A resounding groan chorused from all sides of the classroom as the students realized where this was going.

"_So_," Slughorn continued over the noise, "Today every Gryffindor shall be partnered with a Slytherin, and visa versa." He chuckled as though he had just made a clever joke. "I have prepared a list at random, and whoever I have partnered you with will be your _final _partner. No switching partners a few minutes in, Mr. Potter." James rolled his eyes towards Lily, who mustered an annoyed expression for her boyfriend of three years. "You will be partnered with Mr. Goyle, Mr. Potter. Miss Parkinson with Mr. Black…" Lily heaved a tired sigh- to be honest, she was fine with the whole arrangement as long as she wasn't paired up with- "Miss Evans, if you would please partner with Miss Black?"

Lily ran her tongue beneath her top row of teeth, glaring at Slughorn's back from underneath her eyelids before shoving her chair out behind her and turning to go to Narcissa's table, then jumped about a foot in the air. Narcissa Black was gazing up at her with trademark disinterest, her gray eyes surrounded by a coal tinted eyeliner, her long lashes giving her a mysterious aura. "Going somewhere, Evans?" she asked coolly, cocking an eyebrow. "You heard Sluggy- no switchies." She wagged a reprimanding finger in Lily's direction.

"Yes, I'm not _deaf_, Black," Lily replied, trying desperately to keep her tone even and cruel. Just as Narcissa had made a complete recovery from the incident during the Yule Ball, Lily had never quite gotten over her shocking actions. "And I'm not doing all the work, so get your feet off the table and go get some hellebore."

"I thought we were supposed to make an _antidote_, not something to get the job done faster," Narcissa drawled in her airy voice, inspecting her cuticles, her feet still on the table as she rocked backwards in her chair. "I don't care how much you want to off Potter- I for one want to pass this class as painlessly as possible."

Lily took in a sharp breath, her teeth grinding and her fist clenching as she suddenly found her voice. "This _is _how you make an antidote," she growled through her teeth, "and we're _going _to fail if you don't pull your own damn weight!" With that, she shoved Narcissa's chair forward, causing the blonde's feet to fall off the edge of the table and stalked over to the ingredients cabinet. Yanking the hellebore out of its place along with a few other ingredients, Lily fumed silently. Narcissa's devil-may-care attitude was positively infuriating- maybe that's why it was so easy to toss insults right back in her pale, beautiful face. Lily pushed the door of the cabinet closed with her foot as she headed back to the table- Narcissa was _shockingly _back in her original insolent position, balancing on two chair legs. Everything about the older girl was perfectly proportioned and defined, from the sharp curve of her eyebrows and her infinitely drooping eyelids to her lean, yet strong legs and the contours of her collarbone and jaw. Lily shook her head hard, willing herself back into the present, and slammed the ingredients down on the table.

Narcissa raised her eyebrows. "Not that time of the month, is it, Evans?" she asked coolly as she picked up a container of nettles with her French-manicured fingers and twisting it around, as if inspecting it for flaws. She had the same look in her eyes as she did whenever they came into contact beside their respective men- evaluating and judgmental. "Might as well get started," she stated, finally putting her feet back on the ground and flipping open the large textbook in front of her.

Lily rolled her eyes, but added the ingredients as Narcissa directed.

By the end of the period, contrary to both girls' predictions, their potion withstood Slughorn's test, earning them top marks for the day.

"Gods, I hate Goyle," James stated as they sat down at the Gryffindor table, a banquet appearing before them. "I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me what a bar of soap looked like."

Sirius snorted into his pumpkin juice, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus's lovestruck expression- she had a hard time imagining how _anyone _could love the tactless animagi. "I was stuck with Crabbe," he replied after recovering. "You should have seen Slughorn's face when he saw our potion- we spent most of the time trying to hex each other's balls off. He's surprisingly good with a wand, you know."

"Poor little Lily was paired with Narcissa Black, though," James stated, as if she had been worse off than either of them.

Sirius made a face. "Can't stand her- I can't stand most of my family, actually, but Cissy's possibly the most intolerable of the lot," he said, narrowing his eyes at his cousin's back. "It's impossible to get to her."

Suddenly feeling the surprising need to defend the blonde upperclassman, Lily jumped into the conversation. "At least we got full marks," she stated, flipping back her ruby hair. "She's bloody obnoxious, but probably the smartest one in the whole lot of them." Lily gestured to the Slytherin table in general. James raised his eyebrows curiously. "What?"

"Doesn't matter how smart she is," he said slowly. "A Slytherin's a Slytherin, and Narcissa's the queen."

"Of the bloody banshees," Sirius added in an undertone, and Remus laughed despite his attempts to remain neutral.

Lily shot him a look that said 'you're _so _deep in it now', and he lowered his head dutifully. Feeling slightly guilty, Lily picked up her fork and played with her salad- they had all grown up together, in hatred or in friendship, and after the first few years of innocence, they all had their own crosses to bear. Lily knew she was only lucky that Narcissa seemed to be as sworn to silence as she was, or else her world would have crumbled long ago.

_Maybe I'm just being over dramatic_, Lily thought to herself as she finally took a bite of the chilly lettuce.

It was only a kiss, after all.


	4. Chapter Two: Never Cry Never

DISCLAIMER: NOTHING'S MINE BUT THE PLOT

Lily was sitting in the stands, the metal bleacher numbing her entire lower body as she watched James hunt for the snitch.

"Finally!" Tonks cried from behind her, dropping down beside Lily and hugging her hard. "We've been looking for you for _ages_!"

Remus descended beside her, shooting Lily an apologetic look, foreshadowing the attack that was yet to come. "Hey Tonks," she said, wrapping her arms around the thin girl, unwilling to pull away for the cold. "James is such a prat," she muttered, watching her boyfriend zoom around in a thick wool jacket. "Whatever happened to chivalry?"

"Freezing your arse off, are you?" Tonks asked good-naturedly- she never seemed to get cold, but Lily felt slightly triumphant as she noticed that the younger girl's hair reached down to her waist at the moment. "Have you heard about the most recent murders?" she asked, her voice solemn at once. "I swear he's gaining power, and supporters by the looks of it." Her face was a mask of fear mixed with awe.

Lily was about to answer when a male voice cried, "Look, it's the snitch!" Sure enough, a golden spark of light whizzed past the stands, followed by a larger flash of red and gold, with the Slytherin seeker, Lucius, coming at them from the front. Just before the collision, James dove, his arm stretched out before him, fingers twitching as they grazed the snitch and then…

He twisted spasmodically, flipping off his broom and skidding across the dewy grass. Lily stood instantly, along with most of the other Gryffindor spectators, her eyes filled with worry. Even if they were having problems, she still loved James- he was her best friend.

After a few painstaking moments, James leapt to his feet, clutching the snitch triumphantly, flashing a crooked, bloody smile, and the crowd went wild as Madam Pomfrey rushed over, fussing over his split lip and dislocated shoulder.

"You must be proud."

The cool comment came from behind Lily as she stood just outside the hospital wing, trying to sneak a peek at James. She whirled around, finding herself face to face with Narcissa Black. "What's that supposed to mean?" she snarled, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

Narcissa raised her hands in mock surrender. "I only meant what I said, Evans," she stated slowly, smirking. "He caught the snitch after all that- who wouldn't be proud? Unless…you are having doubts?"

Her question caught Lily off guard- it would have been innocent enough from anyone else, but with Narcissa Black there was _always _a catch. "That's none of your bloody business," she shot.

"How very ladylike of you," the older girl remarked sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Lily nodded, her eyes mocking and her mouth twisted in a sneer. "Yes, things are just dandy, aren't they? Couldn't be better, really."

"Your reaction leads one to believe otherwise," Narcissa murmured, her eyes icy and unreadable. "Besides, you aren't as innocent as you make yourself out to be- or are you prepared to play the devil's advocate, as usual? Are you prepared to lie right to my face?"

Suddenly, Lily's breath caught in her throat, and she took a reflexive step back, but Narcissa's gaze never left her own. It was infuriating, really- those cold, uncaring eyes that gave away nothing- that saw through everything… "Lucius put you up to this," she stated quietly, her voice steady.

"As if I would ever tell him," Narcissa spat, flipping her blonde bangs out of her eyes. "As if I would _ever _risk my reputation and future for the sake of a _pathetically_ confused mudblood."

"I'm not confused, Black," Lily replied hotly. "And I wouldn't worry about your future- it's already been sealed, hasn't it? You're to marry Malfoy, whether you like it or not- I feel sorry for you, actually."

Something flashed in Narcissa's eyes, but her expression remained set. _Marble_, Lily thought, _She's like a marble sculpture_.

"Why would you ever do that?" Narcissa replied coolly. "I've got everything I could ever want- money, beauty, and a secured spot in the wizarding aristocracy."

"You've got it all," Lily agreed, "but you'll never love, will you, Black? Maybe that's good for you- you don't have it in you, after all. To love, you would need a heart, yes?"

"You wound me to the quick, Evans," Narcissa drawled, her head tilted back to the ceiling as she made a dramatic gesture, clapping her hand to her mature chest. "But you don't love yours either. Not anymore, at least."

Lily gritted her teeth. "You don't know me."

"Am I wrong?" Narcissa's voice was free of challenge- she sounded quite innocent, actually. Lily's face fell, and the older girl smirked, taking a graceful step forward.

_She's cornered me_, Lily realized, though she didn't quite comprehend the situation.

"You haven't loved James since your third year," Narcissa said softly, her gray eyes boring into Lily's emerald ones. "I never thought I'd see the day- Lily Evans wants to run away."

Lily's face twisted in rage, and she took a daring step forward. "I'll never run away from a Slytherin," she spat. "And I'll never run away from you! I'm not-"

She was cut off by Narcissa's full, pink lips meeting her own in a whirlwind of emotion. The older girl had caught her by the wrist as she had gone for her wand and snaked her other arm around Lily's waist, yanking her to her so that their bodies were pressed together.

Finally, Lily managed to shove away from Narcissa- finally, she _tried _to shove away from Narcissa- and braced herself against her knees, panting from the effort.

Raising a robed arm, Narcissa casually ran her sleeve over her lips, as if wiping them clean. When her mouth was revealed again, her lips were curled in a victorious smirk. "You're no angel, Evans," she said coolly, turning to leave and glancing back over her shoulder before she headed down the stairs. "Nothing's got you glued to Potter- you'll break his heart, but then, the prat deserves to be pushed off his bloody pedestal, doesn't he?"

With a final flip of her hair over her slender shoulders, Narcissa disappeared down the moving spiral staircase, leaving Lily staring open-mouthed after her.

"Bloody _hell_!"

Lily cringed, biting her lower lip hesitantly. She had never managed to keep a secret for long, other than her stolen kiss on Narcissa's cheek. Which, incidentally, was still a secret. She had never heart Remus curse before, so the whole situation must have been more dire than she had imagined. He was the only one she could trust, however- James would probably have a heart attack, and Sirius…she didn't even want to imagine it. "Yeah," she murmured unremarkably.

"_Yeah_? That's all you have to say? _Yeah_?" Remus asked incredulously. "This is _beyond _weird! Narcissa _Black _kissed you, and all you can say is '_yeah_'?"

Lily sighed. "I'm just a little in shock, Remus," she said softly, and his expression softened instantly. "It's not just the kiss- she seems to know everything about me- it's like I'm wearing James's invisibility cloak. She can _see right through me_."

"Do you think she'll tell Lucius?"

Lily swallowed, finally allowing herself to breathe again, now that Remus was over the initial shock and still seemed to be on her side. "No," she said immediately, and the thin boy raised his eyebrows. "I know, I know," she replied to his expression, "It's Narcissa Black, what am I thinking, blah, blah, blah. She's not _like _that, Remus- that's not how she _works_. She may be engaged to Malfoy, but she'll only tell him what she has to so he stays interested- so he thinks he's in charge. It's pretty obvious after years of having to deal with her because of their stupid rivalry. 'What Lucius doesn't know won't hurt him'- that's how she works."

"Women," Remus said, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "You get all that from just picking fights with her through the years?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You sound like an old man, Remus," she groaned, "and I do _not _pick fights with Black- if _anything_, she picks fights with me, but it's not even that. It's Lucius and James who start it all."

Shaking his head, Remus massaged his temples. "Full moon tomorrow," he muttered, resigned. "I'm always so drained after the transformation."

Biting her lip, Lily took his large hands in hers and rubbed them with her thumbs. "I'm sorry," she murmured- she never knew what to say to him. "It's only for one night."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, but it'll be a long night," he said. "Sirius and James will go with me- I hate putting everyone through so much."

"They didn't even think about it, Remus," Lily said quietly. "It was the only thing to do- they never think, and they never regret anything. It's quite a stupid way to live, but it's their way, right?" She smiled weakly, ducking her head down to catch his gaze. Remus smiled slightly.

"I guess so," he agreed. "It's really the only time I get to be with Sirius without James opening his mouth."

Lily slapped his arm playfully. "Be nice," she stated, making a face. "He loves you- they both do."

"I wish they didn't- or at least that Sirius didn't," Remus murmured. "I wish I didn't have to act like he's only a friend all the time."

"But he is," Lily said softly, stroking his arm. "To Sirius and James- to the _world_, that's all he is."

"Maybe we should switch places," he said halfheartedly. "It's pathetic, but I'd be happy with even a kiss like that from Sirius."

"You wouldn't," Lily replied shortly. "It was almost like she was blackmailing me with her lips, but I don't know what she wants from me."

Remus shook his head sharply. "I would," he stated. "You could never understand- you have the world, Lily, with James and Sirius and even Peter when he decides to show up. I can never have that. Not with my physical condition, or my emotional one."

Lily lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling for hours, waiting for sleep. It never came. Instead, she head Remus's words repeat themselves over and over in her head, like a haunting lullaby.

_"You have the world, Lily."_

Pulling the crimson covers over her head, Lily fought back a tear- even by herself, she wouldn't show the cracks. "But what if the world is falling apart?" she whispered out loud, her voice choked by her effort not to cry. She thought back to the article that Tonks had shoved in her face that morning- of Narcissa's sudden actions after three years of an unspoken vow of silence. "What if I don't want the world?"


	5. Chapter Three: Love & Lies

DISCLAIMER: NOTHING'S MINE BUT THE PLOT

The rest of the week flew by in a haze before Lily's brain finally kicked in, forcing her to refocus- the world's not over.

_No_, Lily thought, _no, it's only crumbling_. Her miraculous recovery had happened in Potions, during one of Slughorn's winded lectures. Lily silently cursed her luck as she tried to focus on taking rigorous notes to avoid Narcissa's persistent gaze- unfortunately, Slughorn could only talk so fast, and Lily's hand could only take so much torture.

Lily's cramping hand turned out to be for nothing, however, as her bag just 'happened' to split as she was getting up to race out of the class. Once she was finished collecting her things and repairing her bag, everyone had left except for Slughorn and Narcissa Black. Groaning, Lily slung the bag over her shoulder and made for the doorway. As soon as she got out of the classroom, Narcissa herded her into a corner. Lily wrinkled her nose- the dungeons always smelled moldy and wet, like an old, unwashed towel. Narcissa, on the other hand…

"Are you afraid, Evans?" the blonde asked quietly. "No one can see us here- no one would hear you scream."

Lily sneered. "You wouldn't," she replied, folding her arms over her chest and hoping she looked more confident than she felt. "You may be the horrendously proud bitch of a fiancée to Lucius Malfoy, but you wouldn't lay a finger on me." For all the years of bitter words, Narcissa had never hurt Lily, not physically, at least.

"Wouldn't I?" Narcissa's voice had become quieter as she took another step forward, her eyes quickly flitting up and down Lily's body. "You overestimate me, Lily Evans. While I am touched, your confidence in my self-control worries me."

"Give me a _break_," Lily scoffed. "If you're trying to blackmail me because of that one night three _years _ago, give it up already. I've got something on you now- you kissed me last week, not the other way around."

At this, Narcissa looked genuinely wounded, and Lily was taken aback by the sudden emotion from the Slytherin Queen. "I would never," she said softly, "resort to such a low measure- I am not your precious Potter, after all. Picking on an innocent student for the sake of a good laugh, was it?"

"Just for the record, I kicked his scrawny arse so hard he couldn't sit for a week," Lily snapped, suddenly angry at Narcissa for implying that she had a part in Severus's bullying. "And aren't you being a bit hypocritical, Black? Picking on the innocent seems to be your forte."

Narcissa laughed harshly, if it could be called that- it sounded more like a sharp cough. "That innocent, Evans?"

"Not me," Lily growled. "Everyone who stands in your path to becoming bigger and better than you'll ever deserve."

The older girl seemed to back off just a little bit, though she made no move to physically step away. "I'm only as good as my fiancé," she stated. "Those I step on, I step on by his will."

Lily laughed, taking advantage of Narcissa's slight relaxation and whipping her wand out, pressing it to the blonde girl's slender neck. "You're nothing but a pawn," she stated cheerfully. "You'll never be anything but his little wifey-poo, will you, Black. Malfoy says jump, you say 'how high'. I've heard it all before."

A muscle in Narcissa's jaw twitched, and her expression darkened. "Lucius is _not _my master, and I am _not _his pawn. Which is more, by the way, than I can say for you and boy wonder. Not quite grown the balls to tell him the truth, have you?"

Lily's body tensed. "What truth would that be?"

Narcissa smirked, flipping her blonde waves over her shoulder, her bangs falling over her eyes seductively. "That his precious, fiery Lily was put out years ago," she replied cheekily, "and by none other than the Slytherin Queen herself."

Lily's eyes grew wide, and she took a step back, only to find her back pressed firmly against the stone wall. Narcissa grinned as she took a step closer, brandishing her own wand and tracing the contours of Lily's face with its pointed tip. "Check and _mate_," the blonde whispered as the wand finally came to rest on Lily's nose. "I'm not going to hurt you, Evans," she stated as she pocketed it. "I'm not even going to _touch _you. I know you'll find a way to rip your current 'happiness' to shreds quite on your own. Au revoire!"

With those words, Narcissa flounced back out into the corridor, and Lily regained her ability to move a minute or so later, but the blonde was long gone by the time she stepped out, her wand outstretched.

At dinner, Lily didn't speak a word to the boys- she didn't have to. It seemed that Remus had finally gone one step too far, and Sirius and James were questioning him like a couple of muggle private eyes.

"Why aren't you ever with Tonks?" James asked, his brow wrinkling as he shoveled a forkful of pie into his mouth. "I mean, Lily and I are never apart."

Remus looked to Lily for support, but she was off in her own little world, and he couldn't blame her. Luckily, Sirius chose that moment to be…well…Sirius.

"You drag her around by the nose, you mean," he stated, pointing his fork in James's direction. "It's not like she's ever had much choice."

Lily frowned, slowly sinking down to hide behind the giant turkey that had magically appeared on the table in front of them. On the other side of the hall, two giant tables away, Narcissa Black smirked and turned back to Lucius, absolutely _fascinated _with whatever he was going on about this time.

"Um…Lily?" James was staring at her, his brow furrowed in concern as his girlfriend jumped, shooting him a large, overly dramatic smile before returning her attention to her pumpkin juice. "Whatever- listen, Remus, all I'm saying is that it's weird for you to hang out with us and never bring your girlfriend along. I mean, think about all the stuff you could impress her with if we brought the map!"

Remus smiled with carefully measured enthusiasm. "I know," he said quietly. "But I like to keep my friends and my love life separate, you know? Merlin knows we don't need another Lily." He grinned when the redhead shot him an evil glare from behind the turkey.

Lily tuned out of the rest of the conversation- Remus seemed to be in the clear for the time being, and instead focused on the small paper bird that seemed to have nothing to live for as it dive-bombed into her perfectly good pudding. Hesitantly, she pulled it free of the goopy substance, her eyes scanning the note carefully.

***  
Evans-

It would seem that we got off on the wrong foot after Potions- would it be too horribly forward of me to ask you to meet me in the library after hours?

Lily rolled her eyes, glancing up at the Slytherin table, where Narcissa was positively enthralled with her treacle tart. She crumpled the slip of paper and stuffed it into her pocket, because God forbid anyone found out. Narcissa pursed her lips in displeasure from across the room.

Moments later, a second paper bird flew at her, this time hitting her squarely in the forehead, to James's and Severus's immense pleasure. Lily groaned, picking the bird up and unfolding it resignedly.

Yes or no, Evans? I don't have _all _day.

Lily's head shot up as she aimed a razor-sharp glare Narcissa's way, but the Slytherin only smirked victoriously.

"Whozat from?" James asked, his mouth full of pumpkin pie as he leaned over his girlfriend's shoulder. "C'mon, let me see, Lily!"

Shaking her head, Lily shoved this note into her pocket, but no more came- Narcissa seemed to be confident that she would show. _And she's right_, Lily thought angrily, gathering her things and telling James that she was going to turn in early.

"What do you _want_?"

Narcissa raised her eyebrows as she turned lazily to the door where Lily stalked in, fuming. "That's tough talk considering _you're _the one walking over to _me_, Evans."

"Yeah, well _you_ told _me _to meet you here, didn't you?" Lily asked, pulling out a chair and sitting on its edge- Narcissa was seated on the table, her legs pulled to her chest, her eyes brimming with disinterest. She knew everything and didn't give a damn.

The older girl sighed heavily, flipping her platinum hair over her shoulders. "Evans, you and I both know that I am endlessly attractive," she said in a bored voice. "And I happen to know from a certain past experience that you wouldn't pull away if I kissed you."

"I wouldn't?" Lily asked, her eyebrows raised. "That in love with you, am I, Black?"

Narcissa shrugged. "No," she said calmly, "but you're not in love with Potter either, _Evans_, and I can assure you that I'm a thousand times better kisser than boy wonder any and every day of the week."

A fire seemed to light inside Lily and her fists clenched as her anger finally boiled over. "Why do you _care_?" she asked, her chair toppling over as she leapt out of her seat. "Why do you bloody _care _about my love life? What bloody business is it-"

In one swift move, Narcissa had leaned over, her head bent to Lily's level, and pressed her lips to hers, one hand positioned at the back of the younger girl's head. An electric current seemed to shoot down Lily's spine as her nose was filled with Narcissa's scent- like a raspberry sorbet on a hot summer day.

When the older girl finally pulled away, she was grinning toothily and Lily recoiled- she had never seen Narcissa _really _smile before. "Lucky Potter," she murmured, her gray eyes raking over Lily's tense form almost hungrily before she shoved herself off of the table and rearranged her robes. "As for my reason for caring so much- I'll never have a choice in life, Evans. You've got a choice, and you're throwing it away for the sake of Potter's _feelings_. When has he ever cared about anyone else? When has _he _ever lied for your sake?"

Lily gritted her teeth- she couldn't argue this point, and Narcissa _knew _it. Like a snake, Narcissa had discovered her weakness and had twisted it back at her, tightening her hold gradually. "I love him," she finally said lamely.

The older girl scoffed as she sauntered out of the library, raising a hand behind her. "Only the stupid and the pathetic fall in love," she called over her shoulder. She turned just before she left, her hand grasping the doorframe. "Which are you, I wonder?"

"What's wrong?" Lily's face was etched with concern as she stumbled into the common room and saw Remus on the couch, his head in his hands.

"Sirius," he muttered, his voice muffled by his robes.

Eyes wide, she dropped down onto the couch beside him. "He found out?" she asked breathlessly, halfway hoping that he had, so that Tonks wouldn't have to hurt any longer. "That's-"

"No!" Remus sounded frustrated, his voice choked with tears. "Sirius got a girlfriend- Alice."

"But what about Frank-"

"I don't know what the bloody hell's going on in that field and I don't honestly give a damn!" the slight boy declared, finally looking up into Lily's face. His cheeks were red and tearstained, and Lily felt her heart breaking just looking at him. "He'll never feel the same way as I do, will I? It's not like it's even a secret- the great Padfoot, gay? Don't make me laugh."

Remus's voice sounded closer to desperate sobbing than laughter, even through the smile that hardly concealed his pain. Lily's eyes filled with sympathy. "You'll always mean more to him than any girl, you know," she said softly. "You're his best friends, you and James. He'd choose you over her in a heartbeat if it came to it."

"Yeah, and that's what hurts the most," Remus said dully. "He'd always choose me, because nothing could ever break us apart- we're the best of friends, after all." His forlorn expression clearly spelled out that he wanted anything _but _to be 'the best of friends'.

In a desperate attempt to change the subject, Lily said, "Apparently Narcissa knows, too." Remus lifted his head slightly. "About me and James, I mean- apparently I'm more transparent than I'd thought."

"You're not- you're just around two oblivious boys and their scrappy little friend all the time. It's not like you've ever needed to hide anything," he said comfortingly. "Besides, Narcissa's always been a little…different, and a Slytherin at that. It actually doesn't surprise me that she noticed. You've noticed things about her that no one else has over the years, haven't you? It's that bloody fighting with James and Lucius that caused it all."

Lily rolled her eyes and rubbed up and down Remus's arm. "Quit cursing- it's not going to solve anything."

Remus looked up at her from between his fingers, his deep blue eyes searching for something that Lily couldn't see. "She might _actually_ fancy you," he said slowly, visibly bracing himself for a fight- after years of friendship with Lily Evans, he had grown to expect it. "Why else would she be concerned with your love life with James?"

"She's jealous," Lily scoffed, fighting the guilty blush that had crept onto her cheeks- she hadn't told Remus about what happened earlier in the library. "She thinks I'm throwing my life away for someone I don't love- she's pissed because, according to her, I have the choice that she never will."

Shrugging, the tawny-haired boy stood, taking a deep breath. "That could do it, Lily," he said knowingly. "Narcissa will never have a choice in who she spends her life with, and you do, and yet you still insist that James is the one for you. What if he's not? I think that's what she's trying to show you."

"Why would Narcissa Black try to help _me_?" Lilly asked incredulously. "All we've ever done is bitch at each other, and even _that _was half-arsed." Against her will, Lily's mind returned to that stolen kiss at the Yule Ball- the secret that could ruin everything.

"It's like I said," Remus called as he trudged up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, "maybe she fancies you. You never know with a Black." His face fell as he said this, his eyes darkening.

"One blackmailed kiss _hardly _constitutes fancying, Remus," Lily declared, though her tone was more confident than she actually felt. Narcissa _had _taken an intense interest in her personal life, but that was the Slytherin way.

Long after he had gone, Lily remained in the common room- James returned a while later and sprawled across the overstuffed couch, his head in her lap, grinning up at her with that boyish innocence that she had first fallen for. Stroking his hair, Lily tried to imagine her life without him and failed miserably- lover or not, James was her best friend.

_"Maybe she fancies you."_

A sarcastic smirk appeared on Lily's face- Remus always knew the right thing to say. A Black and a mudblood- she could just _see _the look on Lucius Malfoy's face. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to play along with the older girl- let her think she's in charge, but for just as long as it took to soil her reputation and her pompous fiancé's.

But if Narcissa _Black_ thought that Lily Evans was _about _to stop the world for her, she was _sadly _mistaken.


	6. Chapter Four: Silly Little Games

**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the plot! **

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update but putting stories on Fanfiction is such a PAIN! Cuz I have to separate them to upload xP The story is now complete so please read and review!**

**Chapter 4**

"As you are all hopefully aware, your first major project is worth a good portion of your final grade," Slughorn declared in his booming voice. "You will be put into pairs- your task is to create a Polyjuice potion and, if you are successful, on the day of your presentation you and your partner will switch places with each other in front of the entire class. Now, as you know, the Polyjuice potion can be quite…unpredictable, which is why I had to get permission from Dumbledore for this assignment…"

Lily's lip curled upwards in a barely-concealed grin- the dangerous and forbidden was her specialty. Back at the front of the room, Slughorn was shaking a large witch's hat around, and Lily had a sinking feeling that she knew where this was going. "Mr. Malfoy, if you would draw a slip of paper from the hat?"

Lucius sauntered to the front of the room and stuck his hand in the hat, making a face when he saw the words printed on the flimsy slip of paper. "_Potter_," he spat, his angry gaze focusing on the messy-haired boy beside Lily. James groaned.

"Come on, Professor," the dark-haired boy groaned even as he stood. "I can't work with an incompetent- it would put a damper on my wizarding abilities."

"What was that, Potty?" Lucius snapped, his wand aimed directly between James's eyes. Lily rolled her eyes as Slughorn struggled to halt the two before a fight broke out.

"Miss Evans, if you will?"

Too soon, Slughorn was shaking the hat beneath Lily's nose, who reached in and picked her poison- somewhere deep in her stomach, there was a part of her that wasn't at all surprised to see the name of the smooth-talking older girl scrawled across the paper in Slughorn's sloppy cursive. "Black," she muttered- Sirius looked up for a moment before reading her face and sending her an apologetic look as his blonde cousin stood, shooting him an icy glare, and strolled to the vacant seat beside Lily. The younger girl narrowed her eyes- Narcissa's expression was perfectly disgusted, and yet it was painfully obvious that she was hiding a smirk behind her pursed lips.

"What did you do?" Lily hissed to Narcissa as Slughorn attempted to squeeze through the next row of desks.

Narcissa raised her eyebrows. "How could it possibly have been _my _fault, when _you _were the one who drew my name?" she asked, though a playful glint in her eyes hinted otherwise.

Gritting her teeth together, Lily forced herself to calm down. _You like games- fine, let's _play_._

"Dittany, Evans!" Narcissa called in a bored voice as Lily turned to fetch more ingredients before she turned in her seat and saw the Gryffindor struggling to reach the bin. Sighing, she pushed out of the wooden chair and sauntered after the younger girl.

Lily's breath caught in her throat as Narcissa came up directly behind her, her long, slender arm reaching up past her head for the correct container. "I could have done that myself," she muttered as Narcissa pulled the unicorn horn out of its bin.

"Obviously not," Narcissa replied, holding the container out to Lily by her French nails and placing it in her open palm, more than a little amused. "We're stuck with each other, so you might as well get used to sharing the work."

Lily rolled her eyes as her gaze wandered over to Remus. Tonks offered her an apologetic grin- _Where the hell does she get off, getting paired with Remus while I'm stuck with Queen 'Thang'?_

"Wishful thinking," Narcissa sang quietly in her ear, grinning when Lily jumped about a foot in the air.

Lily blushed for some unknown reason. _She's even more beautiful when she_ really_ smiles_, she thought before mentally scolding herself and dropping the ingredients moodily onto their shared table. "I'll hex you," she said quietly, more because of her confusion than anything that actually had to do with Narcissa. This was not going according to plan.

The older girl raised her eyebrows before twisting around in her chair and beginning a conversation with Andromeda, who was working with Arthur Weasley. She shot him an empathetic gaze before turning back to the cauldron and beginning to mix the ingredients together.

_Stir four times clockwise…three counterclockwise…and repeat…_

Narcissa glanced back at Lily after a few minutes, her icy eyes resting on the redhead's face. Lily pretended to be absorbed in the preparation for a simple love potion, and after a few moments, she felt Narcissa's gaze leave her face, and she allowed her shoulders to relax slightly.

Suddenly, Lily felt a shiver trickle down her neck as Narcissa came up directly behind her, her hands on either side of the other girl as she braced herself against the table. Lily forgot how to breathe.

After a moment, Narcissa pulled away, much to Lily's relief, only to sneeze violently into the elbow of her robes, her entire body jerking with the force. The blonde wrinkled her nose. "Tame your mane, Evans."

"Keep your distance, Black," Lily shot back, rather proud of herself for coming up with a snappy comeback even though her legs were the consistency of jelly.

"Bit late for that, isn't it?" Narcissa murmured, but when Lily turned to glare at her scathingly, she had already busied herself with chopping up roots, her platinum hair falling in one long, silky sheet over her face.

"You've just got all the luck, haven't you, Lily?" Sirius asked jokingly as the five of them (Remus, James, Sirius, Peter, and herself) strode down the cobblestone streets of Hogsmeade. Lily's arm was looped through James's on the right and Sirius's on the left. "Old Sluggy really loves you and my cousin together."

"_Kinky_, Sirius!" James cried in his slightly gruff adolescent voice. "Narcissa Black and little Lily- could you imagine?"

From her far left, Remus shot her a look that clearly stated, 'I could', but she only shook it off. Today was their first vacation day of the year- she had agreed to go to Hogsmeade _precisely _so that she could pretend everything was fine again.

Unfortunately, things weren't going as smoothly as planned- arm-in-arm with two of her best friends, one of them who _happened _to be her boyfriend, the school-wide boy wonder, and all she could think about was Narcissa Black's cold, gray eyes. Her cold, gray eyes and her long, platinum hair with the one stray strand falling into her eyes and… Lily hadn't realized that her memory was so good until James called, "Oy, Malfoy!"

She groaned inwardly as she realized that Narcissa's presence was reality, not her imagination as James and Sirius stalked towards the blonde couple. Lily tilted her head to the side- they really did make a lovely couple, Lucius and Narcissa. As if the very thought were poison, Lily felt a stabbing pain at her heart as she approached the Slytherin royalty. Lucius was tall, slender, and had perfectly neat white-blond hair that almost mimicked Narcissa's. His upper lip was curled into his perpetual sneer. "Potter," he drawled, spitting the word as if it were a particularly nasty Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean. "Isn't it enough that I have to tolerate your presence once a day?"

"You were the one who drew my name, Malfoy," James shot back, drawing his wand. Lucius was quick to follow suit, and they began to face off for what was sure to be yet another duel. Narcissa pushed off the brick wall of Honeydukes and began to saunter over to Lily, who held her ground, ready for the storm.

"Evans," she said coldly, her eyes boring into Lily in a way that made the younger girl want to dive underneath her blankets until it was over.

"Black," Lily replied, mimicking Narcissa's bored tone. "Kicked many puppies lately?"

"Other than my lovely cousin?" the blonde asked, raising her eyebrows at Sirius, whose knuckles were white around his wand. "I don't believe so. How's Hogwarts's favorite angst-ridden couple?"

Lily suddenly understood- Narcissa was challenging her with those eyes, daring her to fight back. This was the game, and it was her move. "Just fine from the looks of it, I reckon," Lily replied nonchalantly. "Why? Are you and Lucius having problems again?"

Narcissa drew herself up to her full height, smirking. "We've all been wondering for a while now- who's pitching and who's catching? I, personally, have my money on boy wonder on bottom."

Lily snarled. "Go to hell, Black."

"I'd follow you to the edges of time, Evans." Narcissa swept into a majestic bow, her right arm bent over her taut stomach, eliciting several cackles and whistles from the crowd of Slytherins who followed the couple around- it was almost a religion.

Lily was fuming, but not quite ready to give up as she shot, "I would have thought your lips having been permanently fastened to Malfoy's arse would cause that to be quite the dilemma, Black."  
Narcissa's eyes flashed and her hand flew to her wand- Lily's eyes widened and she instinctively reached for hers as well and then- "Densaugeo!"

A shower of yellow sparks flew from Narcissa's wand, and Lily squeezed one eye open as she realized that the hex hadn't been aimed at her, but rather a fangirl behind her, whose teeth seemed to be growing at an alarming rate. The girl's wand lay on the ground beside her.

Narcissa took a step towards her, bending down to the girl's level and jerking her chin up. "That was rather low of you," she murmured.

The girl seemed to be fighting angry tears. "She can't talk about you like that!" she cried, black tears streaking down her face as her mascara began to run. "She's got no right!"

Suddenly, Lily realized that the girl had been trying to hex her from behind- Narcissa had caught her and beat her to it. "That's not for you to decide," the blonde upperclassman said simply before standing up again. "Alright, back to the school- all of you! I won't ask for identification but I doubt you're all of age." Her cool gaze fell on a particularly small girl by the name of Doris Sveen before she turned her back to the lot of them.

Lily gawked after her, but Narcissa seemed oblivious as she strode forward and took Lucius's arm- he was sporting a nasty looking bloody lip and a yellowish thing was beginning to swell on his forearm. James wiped his cut cheek with the back of his hand, grinning at Lily mischievously.

Remus, on the other hand, fixed her with a meaningful stare, and Lily sighed- the game had gone too far.

"Why'd you protect me?"

Narcissa raised her eyes slowly from the large spellbook she had checked out from the restricted section. "A simple 'thank you' would have sufficed," she remarked casually, returning her attention to the book. Stubbornly, Lily stepped forward and slapped the book closed, tossing it off to the side. Narcissa cast a despairing look at it before folding her arms across her chest, her right leg crossed over her left. "It's my duty as prefect," she continued.

"_You're_ the Slytherin prefect?" Lily knew it was a stupid question before it slipped her lips- of _course _Narcissa was a prefect. "Anyway, the duty of a prefect is to intervene in fights, not hex their brains out."

"She is a nasty girl," Narcissa replied airily, attempting to pull the book back, but Lily pushed it out of her reach.

"Why are you doing this, Black?" she asked quietly, commanding the blonde's full attention. "And don't give me the 'you're throwing your life away' crap- that's not going to work again."

Narcissa leaned back in the old armchair, her head tilted towards the ceiling, outlining her defined jaw line. Lily fought off an instinctive shiver- it was almost as if the older girl was made of ice. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told the truth, Evans," she said neutrally.

"Try me."

"I'd rather not, thank you."

Lily sneered at the blonde before dumping her things on the table and pulled the spellbook back. "Whatever, Black," she said, "but I'm not failing Potions because of you."

"I'm sure you're quite capable of failing on your own," Narcissa quipped distantly- she was leaning over the large book, trying to decide where to begin. "We've got to watch out for some of these ingredients- they're quite rare and difficult to obtain."

"Contrary to popular belief, I _can _read," Lily replied sarcastically. Narcissa shrugged, her quill resting against her lower lip as she concentrated on the book. The simple habit was impossible to ignore. It was so…so _unlike_ Narcissa- it was almost like discovering that her favorite childhood celebrity was actually quite fat beneath all the makeup. The problem with Narcissa was that her habit only added to a different area of charm than the usual icy beauty.

"I realize that I am stunningly attractive, Evans, but I really do wish to pass my final year with somewhat impressive marks."

Lily's cheeks went bright red as she tore her eyes away from Narcissa and glued them to the text, painfully aware of the blonde girl's smirk. "Will you stop this if I leave James?"

It was impossible to say who the question surprised more- Narcissa, whose eyes finally seemed to light up with something other than disregard, or Lily, the one who never gave in. "Stop what?"

Lily gritted her teeth. Narcissa had recovered quicker than she had imagined, but she continued. "_Everything_," she growled. "Stop blackmailing me, stop riding my arse about living a life that I don't care for."

Narcissa raised her eyebrows. "No more kissing?"

"_Especially_ no more kissing," Lily replied, though something deep inside her was clawing at her sides, begging her not to let this go. "I'm sick of your silly little games, Black- I know I started this at the Yule Ball, and I'll be the one to end it for good. Whatever this…this _thing_ is, it's not good for either of us, and I'm bloody tired of that ridiculous shiver I get when you're in the room."

"But you're a rather lovely snog," Narcissa said in a disheartened voice, obviously having completely tuned out Lily's entire speech.

Shaking her head, Lily slung her bag over her shoulder and stalked out of the library, her crimson hair whipping around her shoulders as she left Narcissa behind in that moth-eaten old armchair.


	7. Chapter Five: Why I Cry

**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the plot! **

**A/N: I hope Narcissa didn't get TOO OOC- it used to be worse but I fixed it abit…anyway, tell me how I did! **

**Chapter 5**

Remus glanced over at Lily out of the corner of his eye- they were eating breakfast in the Great Hall, and she seemed to be feeling much more dependent than usual.

Lily was seated in James's lap as they skimmed through the Daily Prophet together, frowning at yet another mention of the name 'Voldemort'.

"If he tried to get to you, I'd kill 'im," James declared, his arms tightening around Lily's waist, mistaking her silence for fear of the self-proclaimed 'Dark Lord'. The real reason for Lily's sudden change of heart, however, was sitting across the hall at the Slytherin table, a strange expression playing across her beautiful marble features. Lily quickly averted her gaze- this new expression was disconcerting.

In Potions, Lily was partnered with Narcissa yet again- perhaps Slughorn truly hated her. As the blonde upperclassman made her way over to the table, Lily began to pull out the materials.

Narcissa sat on the edge of the table, her feet on the chair as she watched the redhead work with her trademark lack of interest.

"While your little speech last night was deeply touching and heartfelt, I'm sorry to say that I didn't buy into a bloody word of it."

Lily almost dropped the cauldron she was holding- it was as though nothing had changed. A sudden rush of déjà vu swept through her body, and her mind slipped back to the night of the Yule Ball with no provocation.

_She had looked so beautiful in her emerald dress with those serpent earrings dangling from the silver chain that it almost hurt. Lily's heart had begun to race as Lucius and James began to square off- Narcissa opted out of a verbal fight, however, waiting for them to solve their silly little problem._

_ For some reason, Lily had decided to trail along behind her- Narcissa must have known, but she had said nothing. Suddenly, a strong wave of something that wasn't quite hate or vengeance swept over Lily and then-_

"You're quite close to seriously injuring yourself, Evans," the present Narcissa drawled, inspecting her cuticles. "Both mentally," she continued, "as well as physically." The blonde gestured to the large carving knife that Lily had accidentally selected from a drawer.

"Go throw yourself to the Giant Squid," Lily muttered harshly as she exchanged the knife for something slightly less gruesome.

Narcissa frowned in faux hurt. "Surely you don't mean that, Evans," she murmured as she glided soundlessly behind Lily, her chest brushing against the younger girl's back. Lily's hand tightened around the blade, and she let out a small cry.

The knife clattered to the floor, and Lily fought back tears as she cradled her bleeding hand. James was beside her in an instant, his wand aimed at Narcissa's throat. "What'd you do, Black?" he growled as Narcissa raised her eyes, glaring up at him from under her long lashes.

"Your precious girlfriend managed to do this all by herself, _Potter_," she replied icily just as Lucius arrived on the scene, Slughorn far behind him. By now, the assignment had been abandoned by the rest of the class- their eyes flitted from Lucius to James, silently betting on who would cast the first punch. Unbeknownst to any but the blonde Queen and the red-headed protégée, Narcissa's hand had instantly found the small of Lily's back.

"Got a problem?" Lucius sneered from behind James, his own wand digging into the messy-haired Gryffindor's lower back. "Hex a girl, would you, Potter? Why don't you turn around and fight like a 'true Gryffindor', as you so quaintly put it?"

"Your girlfriend's going to kill Lily," James said venomously, but withdrew his wand from Narcissa's neck.

Lily, gritting her teeth in pain, shook her head as much as she could under the circumstances. "It wasn't her," she said quietly, and James's eyes flitted over to his girlfriend, but it didn't seem to matter who the blame rested on anymore- Lucius had offered a challenge. Swiftly and silently, Narcissa guided Lily behind a couple of table's, her hand still resting against the younger girl's lower back. Lily looked up at her, her freckled face twisted in confusion, but Narcissa shook her head, and she understood. The blonde was unwilling to fight her at the moment, even for her fiancé's sake- not while Lily was bleeding profusely. Narcissa cast a quick charm to reduce the bleeding and raised her gray eyes to Slughorn, catching his attention before gesturing to the door. The large man nodded quickly, his face red and sweaty with his nerves as he attempted to stop yet another fight from breaking out.

"Where are you taking me, Black?"

"To Azkaban," Narcissa replied coolly as she guided Lily up the stairs. "The Hospital Wing, Evans- where else? If you don't get treated soon you're going to suffer from a rather nasty bout of anemia."

"I know where the Hospital Wing is," Lily said sullenly. "I can go there by myself."

"I'm your partner," Narcissa replied briskly. "If you want to stab yourself to death when this assignment is over, be my guest, but until then it's my job to keep you alive and pulling your weight."

Lily pouted as Narcissa pulled her into the bright, Clorox-scented room, but kept silent and allowed Madame Pomfrey to fuss over her deeper-than-average cut as the blonde sat in a chair by her bed, legs and arms folded with an amused look playing across her features.

"How's the hand?" Remus asked as he dropped down in the poofy armchair next to Lily in Divination. The redhead held up her healed hand in response, smiling tightly.

"You'd think I'd been bloody cursed the way she fussed over me," Lily muttered, rolling her eyes. "That and Black refused to leave until I was back to normal- just sat in that chair with that stupid, know-it-all smirk on her stupid face the whole bloody time." Lily dropped the crystal ball onto the table with more force than necessary with those words.

Remus raised his eyebrows, but said nothing as Lily fumed over the older girl's nerve. Finally, once Professor Sinestra had given them the lesson and Lily had had a chance to cool down a notch, he said calmly, "Doesn't that set off _any _alarm bells, love?"

From the confused look that she gave him, it was safe to say that it didn't. "I told her to back off the other day in the library, and the only thing that actually _bothered _her was that she was losing, and I quote, 'a good snog'." Lily drained her tea in one gulp and subsequently went into a coughing fit as it burned its way down her throat. "That's going to hurt in the morning," she said, blinking rapidly.

"I don't think Narcissa would wait with you in the Hospital Wing, even for a good _shag _if she cares as little as you claim," Remus said softly, bracing himself for the fire.

Eyes wide, Lily glanced around the room quickly before leaning forward in her armchair and fixing Remus with a look that clearly said 'shut up, you _bloody _idiot, before someone hears you!'. "If you're so convinced that there's something more between Black and I, why is it that you can't see whether Sirius feels something for you or not?"

As Remus's face fell, Lily felt a pang of guilt, but she didn't back down- Narcissa Black was stuck up, shallow, vile, positively _infuriating_, inhumanly beautiful and… _No_! She shook her head hard- she would _not _fall for the Slytherin Queen. "There's nothing there, Lily," he murmured softly in his dejected voice. "Sirius and James are as straight as they come, aren't they?"

"Quit that bloody mourning! You're not a bloody puppy and nobody's _bloody _kicked you! You're right, Remus- nothing's _about _to change unless you bloody_ do _something about it! All you do is cry to me about never being able to hold the one you love- how can you say that when you've never tried?

"And maybe your chances are ninety-nine to one, but that one percent's all that matters, Remus! As long as you hide, there's always going to be that bloody chance!" Lily was fuming, her emerald eyes ablaze as she continued in a hissing whisper, "So you're right- you'll never have a chance with him if you continue like this. One percent or none, Remus- _you _do the bloody math."

The scrawny boy's jaw hung open, threatening to break away from its hinges as Lily flipped her hair back, satisfied. There had been other lectures like it- James had gotten them every other day back when Lily cared- but Remus had never been the victim before. When she got passionate about something, she had the mouth of a professional Quidditch player at his best. "Okay," he finally said as Lily squinted into the empty tea cup, trying to decipher the black and brown blob at the bottom. She looked up, her eyes full of so much childlike hope that he _almost _couldn't believe that she was the same Lily who just lectured him. "I'll tell him- it might take me a while, but I'll tell him. What's the worst that could happen, apart from becoming an outcast in the magical community and a faggot to my best friends?" He widened his eyes comically- 'What could _possibly _go wrong?'.

Lily grinned as she realized that she had finally won. "They won't abandon you, Remus- you'll be their comic relief when the whole 'Oblivious Moron & Incompetent Prat' routine becomes too stressful to bear."

Remus laughed out loud, cringing at the look that Professor Sinestra shot his way. "But you really should think about this whole mess with Narcissa," he continued, raising his voice an octave as Lily rolled her eyes. "She's a Slytherin- it's not like her to care at _all_, let alone enough to accompany you to the Hospital Wing and _stay_."

Lily scoffed. "Black doesn't care so much that she _does _care- she's just trying to confuse me, and I'd bet my life on it," the foul-mouthed redhead declared confidently.

Raising his eyebrows, Remus finished his own up of tea and looked inside as Professor Sinestra stalked by their table suspiciously. When the class finally ended a few minutes later, he picked up his bookbag and gave Lily a pointed stare. "You're speeding towards death- if you'd stop being so stubborn, you might see past the cover."

"Wow," Lily replied sarcastically as she followed him out. "That's so deep I'm drowning."

Narcissa cornered Lily on her way to dinner that evening.

"We've got to start the write-up," she gave as her excuse as she smirked cheekily as James, towing Lily away by the crook of her arm.

"I know you hate my guts, Black," Lily began as she yanked out of Narcissa's loose grasp, "but I'm afraid that starving your enemies to death just isn't going to cut it in the courts. And why the bloody hell are we heading for the Forbidden Forest? That's, you know- forbidden?"

"Relax, Evans." With a lazy flick of her dark wand, a cluster of trees parted to reveal a moonlit clearing with several pixies darting around in violent pinks and greens.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were trying to seduce me, Black," she finally said lamely.

Narcissa sat down, her arms balancing her body from behind. "And if I wasn't sworn to the Malfoy legacy, I would agree," she replied, her usually airy voice as soft and smooth as velvet. Lily, who had just sat down, started to scramble to her feet, but found that Narcissa had cast some kind of charm to prevent her from escaping. "I thought Lily Evans never runs away from a Slytherin," she said softly as she twirled a strand of hair around her wand. "I apologize for kidnapping you, but that seemed to be the only way to get around boy wonder."

"I find it hard to believe that you actually feel something for me, Black," Lily stated stubbornly, though Remus's words came back to haunt her yet again. Why hadn't she believed him? "Only you constantly shower me with insults and recently have taken to forcing yourself on me because you're jealous-"

"I never forced myself on you," Narcissa said, her voice frozen once again. "I kissed you, yes, but I never forced myself on you, Lily."

"What happened to Evans?" Lily asked, her tone straying from the emotionless mask it had become. "What happened to mudblood? What hap- don't you _do _it, Black, or I swear to _Merlin _I'll bloody hex you!"

Defeated, Narcissa sunk sullenly back onto the balls of her hands- she had leaned over to steal yet another kiss, but Lily had caught her in the act.

"That's right. As I was saying, what happened to the insults? What's your game, Black, because I'm tired of guessing!"

Sighing in strained patience, Narcissa gazed at Lily from under her thick eyelashes. "Are you quite finished?" she asked as Lily fumed silently. "May I _please _kiss you now?"

Frowning, Lily stared at her in disbelief. "_Really_, Black?" she asked. "Do I really look that bloody _daft_?"

"You look beautiful."

Narcissa leaned over once more, and a stunned Lily made no sudden movements towards her wand, so she closed the short distance between their lips.

Instantly, the different sensations swarmed around Lily, almost so crowded and confusing that she couldn't take it anymore, and yet she couldn't pull away. Narcissa's tongue, which had been brief and teasing at her lips before, was now pressed forcefully against her own, as if they were chemicals reacting. She sucked on Lily's lower lip as she pulled away at different intervals. The blonde smelled like raspberries and tasted of peppermint, and Lily felt herself melting into her firm grasp like a candle.

Too soon, Narcissa was pulling away, her eyes trained on Lily's as if asking for permission to continue. Though it took all of her remaining energy, Lily shook her head slowly.

"James…" she murmured weakly, unable to meet the other witch's expectant gaze. Lily felt Narcissa tense as she inched out from beneath the older girl, but she never expected what came next.

"What of him, then?" Narcissa's gray eyes were burning with a cold fire that sent a chill of dread down Lily's spine. "What the bloody hell _of _James Potter? All I ever hear is James, James, and more bloody _James_!"

Lily shrunk back- she had never seen Narcissa lose her cool before, and prayed that she never would again. "We've been together since second year," she murmured.

Narcissa ran a hand through her silky blonde hair, already regaining control of her emotions. "That never stopped you before," she said stubbornly, her eyes downcast to the left.

For some strange reason, Lily felt the unsettling urge to crawl into Narcissa's lap and forget the world. It was so easy to get lost in those eyes like a snowstorm… "It was nothing before," she said quietly instead. "I was thirteen- I thought it would impress James if-"

"If what?" Narcissa asked sharply. "If you destroyed the untouchable Narcissa Black's life?" Lily looked down, and the older girl scoffed. "I knew it, Evans- you want to know how I know so much about you?" Evans, again- but was that such a good sign? Lily didn't reply, but she continued anyway, "It's because you read like a child's spellbook- you're positively _transparent_, and you always have been."

She stood abruptly, flicking her wrist once to clear up the picnic- wandless magic, Lily realized. Narcissa Black may not have looked like much more than strikingly beautiful inferi to Lucius's whim, but she was so much more- Lily had realized that once, three years before. So she did the only logical thing and reached up, grabbing onto the hem of Narcissa's robes.

The blonde whipped around, scowling fiercely, but her expression softened involuntarily as she looked down at Lily's pleading eyes. If only _they _knew- the untouchable Slytherin Queen, whipped by the insolent girlfriend of that Potter prat. It was utterly pathetic and completely unacceptable, but still, she didn't kick Lily away. "Please wait," the Gryffindor begged, her tone utterly miserable- Lily Evans didn't take well to pleading. "I can't just leave him, not after all these years, but I don't love him- you were right about that."

Lily thought about the sensation that flooded her body every time Narcissa walked into a room- the sweet helplessness she felt when the older girl reached out to help her after an annoyed sigh. It wasn't that she loved Narcissa- _never _that she loved Narcissa- but she didn't love James, and the older girl's mere _presence _affected her more than a thousand of James's rough kisses. Maybe it was because she always had to look after James- the roles were reversed in Narcissa's case. Lily's mind slipped back to the girl with the enormous teeth.

Narcissa stood before her, her eyes once again misted over with cool nonchalance as she gazed down at Lily, and the other witch ducked her head down, fearful of the older girl's indifference. _The fear_, she realized with a start, _It was always the fear._

Narcissa Black gazed down at the fiery Gryffindor girlfriend of James Potter, her carefully sealed heart cracking at the sight. She had broken her- Narcissa had been aiming for this all along, to take advantage of Lily Evans's weaknesses and twist them against her, like a dagger deep in the stomach. But something had changed- something had resurfaced that was never supposed to. She thought back to the night of that fateful Yule Ball, her eyes misting over with her memories.

_The fear had come first- nobody could see. And when it became apparent that nobody had, anger had to come next. Anger always came next. _

_ But no- with Lily Evans, anger never went very far. Sticks and stones. _

_ So the indifferent hatred had taken its place and done its worst, but Narcissa hadn't been prepared for the sudden urge to hold her enemy. It wasn't a complete surprise- it had been there for years, really- the urge to tame the lioness Lily Evans, but it had to be for Lucius's sake now. Everything was. _

_ So she watched as Lily Evans fled, her hand groping urgently for a wand that wasn't there- she had to regain her pride, no matter who saw. But Lily Evans escaped. _

"James will be looking for you," she said shortly, heading back to the castle- Lily's grip had loosened considerably.

_Why? _

_Because he loves you, and you love him, though I've led you to believe something quite to the contrary over the past few weeks._

_ But why…?_

_ Must you ask so many questions? I was out for blood- if I could break the Gryffindor's golden girl, Lucius would be forever in my debt. If I could break you, I could do anything. Potter's a puppet that you wear on your pinky finger, Lily Evans. Oh, and in case I forgot to mention before, my plan failed miserably- I am completely and irrevocably in love with you even though I can't possibly be because I'm a Black, aren't I? Lovely. How cliché, right?_

Narcissa's hand clenched into a fist- it was ridiculous. She was the fiancée to the boy who would become king, or something of the same significance. Narcissa Black couldn't afford to fall in love, not even with Lucius.

Without looking back, she knew Lily was still sitting back there on the blanket with that same forlorn expression written across her face. Without looking back, she knew that Lily had just realized what had been there the entire time- what could have been there, under different circumstances. And without looking back, Narcissa _knew _that Lily Evans fully believed that she had ruined everything, and was still just as oblivious as ever to what had been there from the start- what was _still _there, even as she strode away. But that didn't matter.

Because Narcissa Black never looked back.


	8. Chapter Six: Only Everything

**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the plot! **

**A/N: Final Chapter! Of course it will be sad because Lily does have to die but I hope I made it good (well, you know what I mead) Read and review and as always enjoy! **

**Chapter 6 (final)**

Lily's head nodded against James's shoulder- she and Narcissa had somehow managed a perfect score on the Polyjuice assignment without so much as exchanging a glance for over a month. It had all been made possible by Lily's ingenious observation on the day after Narcissa's confession that the blonde had completely disconnected herself from the project.

The confession.

She hadn't even told Remus, and she wouldn't until she figured out what Narcissa's exact feelings had been. From her words, Narcissa Black definitely had more than material feelings for her, but from her frosty glare and cold shoulder, Lily had been led to believe otherwise.

A tiny screech owl zoomed through the window which some great buffoon had forgotten to close in the middle of December. Without even opening it, she recognized Slughorn's excited scrawl. Groaning, she buried her face in James's chest.

"Another date with the Slug Club?" he asked, raising an eyebrow amusedly. "What's the occasion?"

"A very Sluggy Christmas," Lily stated sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "But at least I can bring a guest- I think I might ask Remus."

"You're a riot, Lily," James stated as he moved out from beneath her, leaving her whining for him to come back. "Not 'til you say you're sorry."

"I'm sorryyyyyy," Lily moaned, shivering violently, groping for James, who came back within her reach after another second of icy torture. Ever since the incident with Narcissa, Lily had become determined to rely more on James- if she could make herself fall in love with him again, maybe she could make herself fall out of lust with Narcissa Black. Lily gazed down at the ring that glinted up at her as if it were mocking her indecision.

She had been surprised at how easily the transition had come, but there _had _been a reason she fell for him so many years ago. He was a sweet guy, and sensitive to her wishes, though he'd never admit it.

But still, something was missing- it came almost _too _easily. There was no chase, no pain- surely it couldn't be all bad, but the only time Lily ever truly saw the sun was when her eyes were closed. Narcissa haunted her dreams, though she'd never say it out loud. She'd never say she was in love (with _Black_) - and she wasn't.

_Right?_

Lily's muscles tensed as soon as she stepped into the dungeons, James's strong hand clamped around hers.

Narcissa Black stood off to one side, her pale hand running through her silky hair with that same cruel nonchalance that had forced Lily to hesitate months ago. Now Narcissa's eyes had landed on the two of them, and, unless it had been a trick of the horrid light, a shadow of something more had flashed over her face.

Determined to find out just what that something was, Lily lead James over to the corner of the room where Slughorn was chatting with Peter- "I don't know why we keep him around," James noted, disgusted. "He's bloody _strange_."

"Be nice," Lily chided mildly. "Hello Professor!" She fought the urge to grin victoriously as Narcissa's eyes were now clearly burning with an icy jealousy. Lucius seemed as oblivious as ever to her right as he talked to that ape Goyle.

"Quite well, quite well," Slughorn replied jovially. "But it seems you have gotten yourself into a little bit of a fix." He pointed to the ceiling, where a clump of mistletoe hung. "It's powerful stuff, you know- enchanted it myself!"

Rolling her eyes exaggeratedly, Lily kissed James sweetly and tried to go over to the punch bowl to no avail- slowly, she turned her head and discovered that her worst fears had been confirmed. Narcissa stood, her arms folded over her chest, a less-than-amused look displayed across her face. "I don't have all night, Evans," she snapped, exasperated.

"As if I'd bloody kiss you, Black," Lily shot back- she didn't miss the slight slump of Narcissa's shoulders at her harsh words.

But the pureblood recovered quickly and did something that completely shocked Lily- she drained her goblet of firewhisky and leaned forward, capturing Lily's lips in a hot, passionate kiss right in front of her fiancé. "Let's see your prat boyfriend compete with _that_," she hissed in Lily's ear as she pulled away, and Lily couldn't help but grin triumphantly- Narcissa _was _jealous.

"Fiancé, actually," Lily replied, wagging her ringed finger beneath Narcissa's nose. "He proposed last week."

Several emotions flitted across Narcissa's face in a matter of seconds- first the shock, because who would have guess that boy wonder finally grew a pair? Then the white-hot anger and then…finally, Narcissa's face fell and stayed there, and Lily felt almost heartless before she remembered who the guilty party really was. "Bully for you, Evans- we'll stick to our own then," she said dully, swirling the champagne around in the crystal goblet.

"More's the pity," Lily replied sarcastically, then, just to rub it in Narcissa's face a _little _bit more- "Shame you couldn't control how it all turned out, isn't it? Kind of like your life, right?"

Narcissa's eyes flashed and Lily didn't have time to comprehend exactly _when_ the heiress had the time to press her wand to Lily's neck but there it was. "You ought to keep your abnormally large nose out of the business of the aristocracy," she hissed, though Lily doubted it made any difference- the whole room had gone deathly silent. "Take it back- I would prefer not to dirty my name with _mud_."

"My blood's only as dirty as your precious, _noble _family, _Black_," Lily shot back- James and Lucius watched with open mouths as their respective girlfriends went at it all by themselves.

Narcissa's lip curled and her wand pressed deeper into Lily's throat. "Last chance, Evans." _I'm not them._

"Sod off, Black," Lily scoffed. "We both know you wouldn't hex the hem of my _robes _off, so why don't you crawl back to your ickle Lucius while your dignity's still intact?"

Gasps were heard from all four corners- or maybe it was only one, echoing throughout the silent room. Lily squeezed her eyes shut, positive that she had done it and then…

The uncomfortable pressure was released at once and she opened her eyes again to see Narcissa staring down at her, her hand still clenched around her wand, though it was at her side once more. "You'll have a nice life, won't you, Evans? With no one to tell you who to wed?" she asked so quietly that even the nosiest eavesdroppers couldn't make out her words. "You'll grow old and die with Potter and have ten children and a nice little pigmy puff, won't you?"

At this point, Slughorn, who was beginning to catch on, began ushering the other students away. "Come, come, it's a party, for Merlin's sake! Have fun!"

"Are you mocking me, Black?" Lily asked quietly, her eyes flashing dangerously. She could no longer hear the students around her and could only conclude that Narcissa had cast a notice-me-not charm over the two of them. Her theory was proven when the Slytherin reached up and touched her cheek lightly, looking down at her with those unreadable silver eyes.

"And what if I am?" she asked quietly. "Would you hex me?"

It was a challenge.

"I wouldn't waste the energy, Black," she spat finally, refusing to succumb to Narcissa's charade. "You're not worth it, lying little trollop like yourself."

The blonde arched one eyebrow. "I'm not? But you've hexed James."

"And whose bloody ring am I wearing, Black?"

Lily could tell she had struck a nerve as Narcissa visibly cringed. But it didn't matter, because she was _not_ in love with a Slytherin, especially the queen and a _girl, _for Merlin's sake, and she was most certainly _not _mirroring Narcissa's reaction every time she looked at the ring herself.

"But you won't forget me, will you, Evans?"

The sudden question- or was it really a question?- took Lily by surprise and she let her guard down for just a moment.

And Narcissa was on her like the serpent she was, pressing Lily against the stone wall in front of a room full of people who could not perceive them in the slightest and as the queen's lips collided with hers for that last time, Lily knew why she was wearing the ring. Because if she wasn't in love with James then it was Narcissa and she simply couldn't be in love with the Slytherin queen because that would be completely implausible, totally wrong, and, to be frank, utterly wonderful.

When Narcissa pulled back, she was smiling- not smirking, though that may have been the message she had been attempting to get across- but smiling down at the fiery Gryffindor who had sabotaged her with a kiss all those years ago. Narcissa tucked a strand of flaming red hair behind Lily's ear and left her hand there for a moment as she leaned forward, her cool breath lapping at the Gryffindor's soft skin. "Maybe I've been forced into a life that I don't particularly desire," she murmured, "but you're marrying Potter, aren't you?"

"So?" Lily asked shakily, still trembling from the force of the kiss and the realization that had come along with it. "What's that got do with anything, Black?"

"Everything."

It was years before Lily Evans understood Narcissa Black's solitary last word as she was standing before the crib of her baby boy as the hooded figure with the piercing, empty eyes glided closer.

Narcissa Black had gone on to marry Lucius Malfoy and she never did break free of the family name that had trapped her like the Devil's Snare. Remus never did confess to Sirius, nor had he broken up with Tonks. And Lily had married James.

"…_you're marrying Potter, aren't you?"_

_ "What's that got to do with anything?"_

_ "Everything."_

Lily had settled for James because she couldn't settle for more- because her blood was dirty and Narcissa's name was Black.

And so she put every ounce of her love into her baby boy, the only thing she truly had left ever since that final word.

And Lily Evans died with her eyes closed because she didn't want to see the silver band that she had traded it all for. She didn't want to watch as the world finally crumbled around her in a flash of green light.

Because when Lily Evans closed her eyes she saw a pair of piercing, silver orbs gazing back at her.

_It's only everything. _

Narcissa Black read about the Potters' death in the Prophet and she laughed along with Lucius because really, that boy had to was bound to get his comeuppance sometime. At a second glance, Narcissa hadn't recognized the name- there was no Evans, after all.

But the picture was splayed out over the entire page two and Narcissa laughed and laughed until tears ran down her porcelain cheeks because Evans had married Potter, hadn't she?

Stupid Lily- how many times had she warned her not to marry _him_? And it was all Lily's fault that she ended up dead because she should have _listened_, but she didn't because she was Lily Evans and Lily Evans was too _good_ to listen to anyone but herself.

It had to be Lily's fault because if it _wasn't_, Narcissa would fall to pieces because that was the last thing left of Lily- the last piece of herself that she had to hold on to.

_It's only everything._


End file.
